Recovering from divorce, and pressing the reset button on your life, requires persistence, mindfulness, and an ability to focus on internal response without pain, grief, or fear.
This is not an easy or swift process—it is necessary to create the time and space to feel the emotions and process the death of the marriage. Read More
We are pleased to share a terrific piece by writer Portland Helmich that delves into the approach we take in our program at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health.
After 18 years together, my ex-husband and I separated in 2008. We divorced in 2010. It was the most painful experience of my life, bar none. Read More
A longtime dream is coming to fruition in September, and Jeff and I could not be more excited!
In collaboration with a writing specialist, singer/songwriter, and mind-body specialist, we have designed a multi-day experiential workshop, Recovering from Divorce, Reclaiming Yourself, that will help people gain skills, open themselves to emotion (rather than being numb), and ultimately heal from divorce. Read More
Recently, a colleague reached out to one of her clients and heard the following voicemail message:
Hi, this is Donna, sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. [pause]. Unless I was once married to you.
The message’s message is clear: speaking to an ex-spouse is not something that Donna (or many people) want to do. Read More
After a marriage fails, it is very easy to be emotionally reactive when interacting with a former spouse.
Emotional hurts (both old and new), disappointments, unmet expectations, sensitivity to facial expressions, tones of voice, and even certain words or phrases can take on a lot of meaning — flooding one or both parents with strong feelings and causing lots of emotional reactivity. Read More
Conflict between divorcing parents often results from judgment — both feeling judged by the other parent, and judging the other parent yourself. It takes the form of criticism and blame around parenting style, values, decisions, and even personality traits. Judgment leads to hostile counter-criticism, blame, and often avoidance. The bucket of conflict then begins to overflow. Read More
College graduation season is upon us. There is less hands-on parenting with college-age children, and many have matured into young adults. Yet, regardless of a child’s maturity, it is important that parents do not neglect their responsibility to proactively ensure a special experience — one that is untarnished by awkwardness and conflict. Read More
A divorcing couple’s marital dynamic — often the usual pattern of unproductive interactions — is so entrenched that it can be challenging for divorce professionals to avoid it as well.
Many high-conflict couples often interact as “mind readers.” Each person is definitively sure what the other thinks, feels, and intends. Although the level of certainty is absolute, the likely reality is that one’s perspective about the other may be incorrect or only partially correct at best. Read More
I recently had one of the most moving and powerful experiences of my career with a high-conflict divorced couple and their 7-year-old child (identifying information has been changed). Filled with tremendous gratitude, I want to share it as an example of why it is so important to be intentional, careful, and collaborative when explaining divorce to children.
In this case, the parents have been living separately for almost 2 years. The initial separation immediately followed a violent episode that involved the police. As a result, an order of protection was in place precluding the parents from being in the same room, emailing, or calling each other. Read More
Divorce is challenging and difficult to recover from — often because parents become stuck in battles of A vs. B. An A vs. B mentality inherently creates a scenario of right vs. wrong. In other words, if A is right, then B must be wrong. Read More