Back to school can be an exciting but also stressful time for you and your children. There are transitions to new grades and sometimes a new school. There are new teachers, as well as new classmates. And, there are countless new routines and decisions that need to be made. Read More
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t is hard for any parent to send their children off to college for the first time. The last two years of high school are so focused on the outcome of this process, creating increasing tension and expectation. SATs, college tours, essays and applications, and then waiting with baited breath for the colleges to send acceptances all raise the temperatures of parents and children. Read More
Children’s special events deserve to be memorable and positive. Whether it’s a graduation, confirmation, bar or bat mitzvah, recital or play, children benefit from divorced parents who plan ahead to ensure that the event—and the memory of the event—will not be spoiled by parental conflict.
Parents need to know themselves: trigger points, strengths, vulnerabilities, etc. With this knowledge, they can realistically plan for the event and avoid potential minefields. Doing so ensures that the child will not experience discomfort, witness distress, or have to navigate being “in the middle.” Read More
As divorce professionals, it is common for us to have deep feelings of compassion for our clients. We truly want to help the adults and family create a smooth transition—from couple to single, from married parents to divorced parents.
The strong urge to help can result in our attempt to repair the marital, spousal dynamic (this is separate and distinct from reconciliation). We seek to help the couple take a breath, create a shared understanding, and move toward healing together. Read More
A safe, secure co-parenting relationship is ostensibly the most important and protective gift that parents who are divorcing can provide to their children. In lieu of being consumed by the logistics of divorce, it is important for parents to develop a more secure attachment to each other in their roles as parents. Read More
For divorced or divorcing parents, one of the more difficult challenges they face is sending their children off to college. The college process is such a huge milestone—and an anxiety-provoking experience—for the whole family.
It’s no wonder that the tradition of Parents’ Weekend/Homecoming occurs about a month and a half into the semester; the freshmen have settled into their dorms, many have already made friends that will last a lifetime, and they are eager to share their new friends and new lives with their families. This positive growth must be fostered, not sidelined by another fight between mom and dad.
Unfortunately, reuniting a divorced family means there is an opportunity for conflict to take place. Read More
Most of us are familiar with the concept of “fight or flight”—when attacked, many forms of life will choose either to fight the enemy or to flee from the dangerous situation. This concept can also be applied to co-parenting relationships during which parents often engage in hostile or defensive communication.
Fight might take the form of criticism or blame, and then counter-criticism or counter-blame. For example, if one parent says, “You were late picking up the children yesterday,” the other might retort, “Yeah, well, you didn’t give me proper notice of your vacation plans with the children.” Flight often manifests in a spouse not responding to emails, calls, and texts—basically, withdrawing and avoiding the conflict. Read More
Making the transition from long, unstructured days in the summer to the rules and expected behavior of the school environment can sometimes be very anxiety provoking for kids. It’s really critical that divorced parents are mindful of that anxiety, and what the kids are going through during this transition. Here are a few tips to consider:
People commonly confuse a divorce with the end of a family. The two are not synonymous.
Marriage is created when two people enter a marital union and become spouses.
Family is created when children come into the picture and the spouses become parents.
Divorce is only the untying of the marital bond. The responsibilities, commitments, and love that come with parenthood continue for the rest of your lives. Read More